{"id":852,"date":"2020-05-25T06:45:00","date_gmt":"2020-05-25T06:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.somawichita.com\/?p=852"},"modified":"2022-10-24T16:50:04","modified_gmt":"2022-10-24T16:50:04","slug":"parenting-is-hard-soma-therapy-wichita-ks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/somawichita.com\/blog\/parenting-is-hard-soma-therapy-wichita-ks\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting is Hard."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Man<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Rebellion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One of the most valuable phrases I\u2019ve learned when working with families is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rules \u2013 Relationship = Rebellion<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This concept was originally created to help step-parents and blended families understand the oh-so common rebellion that can happen when a step-parent steps into a child\u2019s life and tries to enforce rules, while failing to foster the relationship (outside of setting and enforcing rules) with that child first. The common result? Rebellion. Kids innately value the relationship bond that happens at birth (and I\u2019ll likely cover why this is in future blogs). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step-Parenting<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

For most step-parents, it\u2019s tricky because they don\u2019t get that opportunity to chemically and emotionally bond in those very crucial developmental stages so creating that bond with step-children can be an even bigger endeavor. Add in the complications of co-parenting, residual trauma from divorce, and a kid being in multiple environments with multiple rules and walaaa! It can be a super frustrating mix of chaos for both the kid and the step-parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause I said so.\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Needless to say, this formula also applies to Authoritarian parenting relationships. That is, when parents create rules without offering explanations, listening & empathizing with their child\u2019s emotions \u2013even the irritating ones, and expect them to follow it in a militant kind-of-way. Most parents do this with the great intentions of making wonderful kids for our society, however, it commonly can go bad because these kids often struggle in the world when complicated emotions arise and things aren\u2019t so \u201cblack and white\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quality Listening = Quality Parenting<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

How can we change this? Build relationship with your kid. Listen to their emotions and utilize emotion coaching when you can (that is, \u201csaying yes to the emotion, and no to the problematic behavior, see Dan Siegel\u2019s works on parenting). More tangibly, make time every week to spend with your kids getting to know them, playing games with them, and taking a break from the enforcer role. Let your kids get to know you and remind them after hard conversations that at the end of the day you are on their side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try working on the relationship piece if you are struggling with kid rebellion and see what happens. This equation isn\u2019t perfect (nor my own), but in my experience \u2014 it\u2019s pretty darn close.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Need our help?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you or someone you know is interested in starting treatment for any mental health issues, please contact us today to get a compassionate and thorough intake so we can connect you with the best services possible. Hope is just a phone call away! (316) 201-6047<\/a> or contact us here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For more information on Soma Therapy, please visit https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/treatment-rehab\/soma-therapy-wichita-ks\/440207<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rebellion One of the most valuable phrases I\u2019ve learned when working with families is: Rules \u2013 Relationship = Rebellion This concept was originally created to help step-parents and blended families understand the oh-so common rebellion that can happen when a step-parent steps into a child\u2019s life and tries to enforce rules, while failing to foster […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[45,43,75,46,100,78,71,99,47,28,37,70,51],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nParenting is Hard. - SOMA Therapy, Wichita<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Try working on the relationship piece if you are struggling with kid rebellion and see what happens.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/somawichita.com\/blog\/parenting-is-hard-soma-therapy-wichita-ks\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Parenting is Hard. - 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