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Here’s a sneak peek:
“Broken to Baddie: How those who feel broken realize their awesomeness.”
INTRODUCTION:
Let’s get real. Going to therapy with an experienced, well-versed, non-BSing therapist or psychologist is ideal. Mostly because those who lack self-awareness and the ability to sift through the lies we tell ourselves (which we ALL struggle with) can read this content and be left unphased.
However, I’ve come to learn that going to therapy consistently isn’t an option for many people for many reasons. Here’s a few: being in a rural city, having a shortage of therapists in your city, good therapists having extensive waitlists, therapy being too expensive, travel limitations, time limitations, past therapist trauma, fear, and shame (just to name a few).
Also, the title of this book, while catchy, isn’t 100% accurate. I use the term “broken” since many of my clients have held a core belief of “something is wrong with me” or “I am broken”. Broken is meant to represent the feeling that people have about themselves when they start this journey. The feeling that something is broken or wrong with you. But you are not broken. All the things you do make sense in context (even the things society shames). You are a resilient product of what happened TO you and the biochemistry you were born with. These things are not chosen. Luckily, we do get to choose what we do moving forward and working with our biochemistry for our own goals and values. Your current ways of living and viewing the world may be “broken” or no longer working for you. But you, my lovely, are not broken.
Lastly, this book was meant to be done in increments (not read in its entirety). You can do whatever you’d like with this content, but I’d recommend you take each section on a weekly or daily basis. This book is intentionally broken up into concepts. The intention is for you to take time with each of these concepts to really let things land and wrestle with it.
Some may use this as a companion to their therapy journey. I encourage those working with coaches or therapists to take topics that hit them particularly hard or they are wrestling with to their therapists. These sections and recommendations are not the end all be all. I am human. I am still learning. I am biased based on my own context and experiences. Lastly, this journey is culturally and contextually yours. Edit these themes as needed to what benefits you at a cultural and contextual level.
INSPIRATION:
“Do you have a book you can recommend on boundaries (or perfectionism, or people-pleasing, or the fawn trauma response, anxiety or adhd in relationships, on jealousy, on learning about who I am, and the list goes on…)?”
“Yes! Start out with book X and then watch TedTalk Y and then read this article I’ll send you via email and download podcast LMNOP”.
Through my years as a coach, therapist, and TikTok creator, there have been questions about specific topics that I get time and time again. One of my favorite things to do as a coach and therapist is to notice the patterns and recurring themes that paint the direction and focus of people’s lives.
I started to notice there were several patterns and themes that many shared. This book was inspired by my desire to combine and synthesize these patterns that would come up time and time again. (They’ve also admittedly been many of the patterns I’ve struggled with in my own journey). The high functioning imperfect perfectionists that wound up in my office had several common themes of life to work through that they shared.
This book pays tribute to their wonderful, super tough journeys (because they are the real MVPs in all of this) and my hopes of creating a synthesized work that can be handed to other imperfect perfectionists on their healing journey.
This was also inspired by my own journey from “Broken to Baddie” – I used to think I was broken. Uniquely broken. I struggled with depression for most of my childhood and then a pretty gnarly eating disorder from ages 14-18 years old. I was in and out of hospitals and didn’t feel too great about myself overall and my ability to function in “normal society”. It was through that therapeutic journey (and my ongoing journey through college) that I learned how to love myself and who the heck I even was outside of feeling crappy about myself. I learned about the many stories that secretly held me back from healthy relationships, awesome career opportunities, and finding peace with my life and my imperfections.
This was also inspired by the many, many stories I’ve heard from people on TikTok not having access to mental health resources (or good ones if there are any). This book is a hope to provide more access to mental health education (not replacing therapy) for those without access to mental health resources. And to those with many resources who want a sneak peek into the major themes I address in the therapeutic work that I do with clients.
You get to be a fly on the wall receiving condensed versions of themes and stories discussed with most of my clients. Welcome, take a seat. Grab a coffee or tea or deep breath and enjoy!