When tackling a big change… it is CRUCIAL that you find your BIG WHY and help it align with who you are. For most of us, even positive change can be very uncomfortable and many people stay stuck in painful patterns because they haven’t found a way to tie the changes they WANT to make […]
Tag: Kansas
Be Yourself. Science Says You’ll be Happier.
“Positive emotion alienated from the exercise of character leads to emptiness, inauthenticity, depression, and as we age the growing realization that we are fidgeting until we die.” What makes a person truly happy? Not the, “I just ate a really awesome slice of cheesecake happy” but true, lasting emotional satisfaction? Scientists like Martin Seligman have […]
Being Okay with “Good Enough” from a Recovering Perfectionist
Jenny Helms, LCMFT Discusses her Journey as a Recovering Perfectionist You Aren’t Alone, Trust Me Admittedly, I still struggle with accepting “good enough” or being “okay” at things from time-to-time. Noticing patterns of my past, I used to work as hard as I could to be as good as I could at every venture that […]
Domestic Violence: Why Can’t They “Just Leave”?
Prior to becoming fascinated about the dynamics of domestic violence, I remember thinking: “Why don’t women/men in these relationships just pack up their bags and leave?” or “Why don’t they just go to a shelter?” Initially, I understood very little about the complexities of walking away or the complexities of staying. According to NY Times […]
Eating Disorder Prevention: How to Save a Life
What’s the Problem? With rising rates of eating disorders, it is impossible to have enough treatment providers for all of those who suffer. And unfortunately, many suffer with little to no resources. Eating Disorder Prevention has either never been prevalent, or seems to have taken a seat on the back burner. I became intimately aware […]
Embracing Failure to Succeed
As we begin our week, may we be brave enough to remind ourselves that embracing failures is a necessary part of our journey to success. In the past, I have tried to avoid failures at all costs, thinking that if I failed at something the pain of my often self-inflicted shame would consume me. Much […]
Exercising Compassion
Compassion is an ever-growing area of interest within psychology and psychotherapy. Although definitions of compassion vary, there is broad agreement that compassion is comprised of a combination of affective, cognitive, and motivational components. While everyone has, to some degree, a level of compassion, for some it can be beneficial to develop these skills further through […]
How Avoiding Other People Means Rejecting Ourselves
What Avoiding Other People Means to Us When we are avoiding other people or dealing with a situation, we are really saying no to the hard things that are coming up within ourselves when dealing with that situation. *Whether we are conscious of these hard feelings or not.* This is really unfortunate because those hard […]
Hugs Can Transform Your Relationship – Here’s How!
X’s over O’s? Plenty of couples spend time, energy, and money trying to fix relationship problems, increase intimacy, or simply kick things up a notch in their relationship. Well, there is a free way to do all of the above that is often overlooked and underrated: Hugs. Yes, hugs help all of the problems listed […]
I’m Not Trying To Fix You: A Letter to Those in Therapy
As a therapist and counselor, I am here to embrace you. The good, bad, messy, silly — all the parts. So many clients come to therapy saying “Fix me!” or “Just help me erase or get rid of these painful memories!”or “Make me better!”, especially when they’ve been struggling with pain from trauma, grief, a […]