The Many Faces of Anger

Woman concealing emotion

Anger comes in many faces. It can look like kindness, it can look like silence, it can look like withdrawal.

Most people only know the more violent, the more loud, the more outward presentation…

But my oh my, how insidious the damage of inner anger can be. How deceiving it can look in the “nice guy or girl”, how it can grow to tear ourselves and others apart. How I have seen time and again, people STUFF this very important emotion. Both inside of themselves, and with food, alcohol, and other “stuffings”.

Anger is not a bad emotion, it is an ESSENTIAL one.

It tells us when something is not okay with us, when we are needing something else or more, and it cues us into the boundaries and values we have when we get down to what’s really causing us to feel it.

But once we’ve come to better embrace it, we are not done with the healing thet anger can provide.The next piece is learning to TALK about our anger in a way that not only others can take in, but that WE can hear too. When we yell or withdraw, or pretend like “everything is okay”, we are stopping that much needed communication with ourself, and ultimately, with others.

Take time for your anger. If it feels too overwhelming, let yourself embrace it in solitude for a bit, and then talk it through with someone safe or journal it out. Listen to what it is trying to tell you. Learn how to communicate what you need and want to feel safe and okay in this world.

Because the fact is — the world IS a scary place, and there’s so much that we cannot control (regardless of how hard we may try!). But we can create that safety for ourselves, we can become to realize that often our anger isn’t there to HARM us, but to protect us.

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